Uncertainty

Fear of the unknown. Of starting a family. Of taking any risk.

Should I? What if this goes wrong? What if I fail? I don’t know if I can do it. I know I want to, but the fear of the unknown, the uncertainty, is preventing me from doing it. So we wait. And wait. And wait. Even though your gut, your intuition, is damn near screaming at you to do it. Does this sound familiar?

These are common questions, thoughts, concerns that run through all of our minds before any big decision. As they should.

Even before Meaghen and I were engaged, I really wanted to propose but I thought about everything: how would I afford a ring? How would I afford a wedding? A child? A new home? All of that overwhelmed me. I felt at times I couldn’t even take care of myself.

I spoke with my aunt and uncle for advice. They talked to me about taking a leap of faith. What they said really stuck with me: Sometimes you are unsure of how everything will work out. But if you truly believe, in your heart, it is something that you need to do, you must take that leap of faith. Focus on one thing, then do whatever you need to do to figure it out and most importantly have faith in yourself, Universe, God. Have courage, take the next step, put in the daily work and have faith. If you do that whole heartedly, everything just seems to work out. Someway, somehow.

It seemed so far fetched for me. But it was something that I know I needed to do. Once I commited to buying the ring I put in work. I meditated on it, I journaled on it, I asked for help (in my mind). It’s crazy when you just put it out there, the universe, God conspires to help you.

That same week I gained 5 clients. They seemed to drop in my lap. They all reached to me. Boom, just like that, within a couple months I had enough cash to put aside to buy the ring!

For me, starting my own business was scary enough. As an entrepreneur, things aren’t stable. Clients come and go. And I’m always feeling like I’m having to try and “sell.” But I had to really have faith in myself and my ability to do the work. The most important thing was to have faith in my ability to figure it out. That was the game changer. Even if I didn’t know how, at the time, I had to have faith that it would work itself out.

And here we are. Almost one year later. With a beautiful, healthy baby boy. And it is all just working out. And it feels right.

I reflect on where I think I should be versus where I am. I create stress and suffering within myself because I think I’m supposed to be farther ahead. With business. With finances. With a home etc… But then I hold my son and realize that I am exactly where I need to be. When we can let go of those expectations but still strive to be better each day, life becomes more free. We live with more ease. With more joy. With more love and more happiness. In the end, that is truly what life is all about.

I have no idea what the future holds but I will keep waking up early and doing the best I can each and every day. And when I want to give up, I remind myself “DO IT FOR THEM.”

Fucking grateful,
Stephen Albert Ramos