Tag: learn

04.16.2020 /

Lessons in crisis

COVID-19 and Social Distancing could be the greatest thing to have happened to the human race, ever. As fucked up as it is, I believe everything is happening exactly as it should.

Think about it, when have you ever taken a full reset? Probably pretty rare. Now think of it not just individually, but as the whole world? I’m going to guess, NEVER.

This reset which forces us to stay home. We have two choices:

To cope and feel like the world is fucked up and our lives are over. Stop working towards our dreams and use this time as an excuse to build bad behaviours.
We can look at this as time for self reflection. A time for us to slow and be present with our family and loved ones. A time for us to facetime our family or friends we haven’t spoken to. A time for us to attend to the things we know we NEED to do, all the little things we’ve been putting off. A time for us to learn a new skill. A time for us to read books to grow our minds. A time for us to get more rest but also adapt and continue to move (even if slowly) towards our dreams.

Which one are you?

If you are the first option, that is okay. If you’ve been having a hard time and not doing much, that is okay. But how long will you let that continue? We can always choose to change the next moment. Choose to now adapt and take action.

During the second week of quarantine I was really down. I thought that we’d be back at work and I’d be making money (I’m a personal trainer) but when the social distancing kept getting extended I got really fearful and worried about how I would provide for our growing family. I let go and became lazy. Ate junk food. Stayed up late watching movies. And then I felt like shit. But I needed to go through it. Then I decided that I would not let the external factors determine my destiny. So I got back on track.

I really made it a point for myself to continue to work towards my dreams. I treat the day like I would a normal working day. I put in the work during the morning and day, then chill, be present and watch movies with Meaghen, in the evening. Having a healthy balance of both, especially during times like this has continued to give me purpose and meaning each day.

On the flip side, looking at old photos and videos with family and friends, truly makes me feel like I’ve taken SO MUCH for granted. The simple act of a handshake or hug, kissing our loved ones, going out to social events and travelling to beautiful places around the world. I took it ALL for granted.

And you know what? That is okay too. We are all humans who make mistakes. It’s situations like this crisis, that are catalysts for positive change in our lives.

Every morning, I get to have coffee with my fiance who is 4.5 months pregnant. We talk. We laugh. We plan on how we can make it through this. But most importantly, we are present with one another (no phones). I’ve spoken to my family and friends everyday. More than I have ever done. And for that, I am truly grateful.

Before the world was put on hold, ask yourself: Were you present with your loved ones? Or were you on your phone? Were you going about life with no purpose? Were you letting fear get in the way of your dreams?

Now that we must stay home. I hope we truly realize the importance of each moment we have together. How valuable our times is on this earth. Because we never know when that moment will be taken away. And we only have ONE LIFE. So will we continue to take those moments for granted? Or will we be grateful and present with one another, but also strive to be better and PUT IN THE WORK to achieve our dreams?

That is up to you my friend.

We are so blessed that we can still connect via social media, FaceTime etc. So call, text, facetime those that you’ve lost connection with. Tell them you love them, you’re grateful for them or just say hi. Adapt to the times and figure out how you can still grow, learn, make money and provide for your family during these times. Do what you can with what you have. For what you have is enough. And put in work. Remember your loved ones need you to show up.

SO, SHOW UP.

And remember, just like all seasons and just like the wind:

This too shall pass.
-Buddha

Love,
Steve Ramos

I am truly sorry to all those who have lost loved ones during this time. And to all the health care workers in the front line. Mad respect to you. Thank YOU. This is just my opinion and the perspective I’ve taken to help my get through this time.

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01.14.2020 /

7 things I learned after my 5 day fast

I learned so much from this experience. More than I could’ve imagined:

1. Discipline and will power is the foundation of achieving anything I (we) want in life.
If one is motivated enough to do something, they will find a way to do it. No matter how hard the circumstances are. Just like the old saying goes,

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way”

2. My internal acceptance is not based on my external (physical) appearance.

I’ve been a prisoner to this for almost all my life. Growing up my family was not wealthy. But my parents did everything in their power to provide for us the best they could, even sacrificing their own needs.

In my teens, I had no money, no job, no car. I compared myself to my friends and others who had all of that. I didn’t think I was good enough, plain and simple (and still to this day). I was ashamed of my upbringing and felt I had something to prove. I wanted to feel like I belonged.

15 years ago, when I came across physical training I found something that I absolutely loved. So I did it over and over and over – you get the point – and my body responded. 7 days a week, 3 hours a day (no joke) for years. Too much? Probably but I didn’t care. It was medicine for me. It was a form of therapy (another journal entry). I felt like I had an edge over others in this one area of my life because I started gaining respect from others. So from that point on, in my head, I had to work even harder. I had uphold such an image, no matter the cost.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret it one bit, but know I realize there’s so much more to training then the physical. Behind that is the mental which is the foundation of everything. Having the discipline to do the thing consistently, even when you don’t want to do it. That’s why this means so much to me. Not the fact that I didn’t eat for 5 days, but the discipline to tell myself that I’m going to do it, AND DO IT.

I literally thought I would shrink if I did not eat every 2-3 hours. Shovelling food down my throat. Never present while I was eating, just getting it in so that my muscles could grow. Sounds ridiculous I know. But that was my thought process behind it. But after not eating it was a huge mental hurdle for me to get over. I did lose weight, muscle mass and fat. I feel skinny but I think I’m okay with it. It’s letting go of my ego. I know that it will be a constant hurdle but with time I know it will get better as it already has.

3. I have a true appreciation for food as I used to take food for granted.
Visiting my hometown, the Philippines, with my family a few years ago was a complete culture shock. I saw two extremes – the wealthy and the poor. The poor had nothing. They lived in open shacks made of wood and mud. I saw two kids playing in knee high mud, splashing around, having the time of their life. The crazy thing, they were smiling. They seemed so happy. And here I am complaining about everything I don’t have. Why is it that we have so much but only focus on everything that’s missing. They would die to be in our shoes. Why can’t we see that?

There are people out there starving not knowing where their next meal is going to come from. It makes me sad just to think about it. But now having felt complete starvation, it gives me a tiny bit of insight on how they feel, everyday.

4. I am even more cautious about what I will put in my body.
Don’t get me wrong, I still believe that we should still live life and enjoy the foods/drinks we want to, but within reason. There needs to be structure so that will allow you the freedom to indulge, a bit. “Structure gives you freedom.”

What we put (or not put) in our body affects how we function and feel, physically and mentally for days. Think about that in the long term and how that can determine the quality of our life. The one life we have.

Taking away everything and then bringing it back makes me realize the types of food that make me feel like shit or make me feel better. Again, It’s all about moderation and giving yourself the respect to not just inhale everything around you. Your body deserves better.

5. Practice self control over things I want vs things I actually need.
Not to say that we don’t need food because we do. But more in a sense of wanting vs needing – applicable to (junk) food and pretty much everything else in life. Always wanting more of this, more of that, but when does it end? Stop and ask yourself, “Do I actually NEED this?” “Will this make my life better or worse?” If not, don’t eat (drink) it. Don’t buy it. Simple as that. You’ll most likely feel better and It’ll save you the money in the long run. Live with less and have a more simple fulfilled life.

6. I can’t let myself (others) down.
As Don Miguel Ruiz states in his book – The Four Agreements:
Be impeccable with your word.

Do what you say. Say what you do. Because our word is sacred. This applies to all that you do in your life. Keep your word and be reliable to yourself and others.

7. We all need a break.
Taking this break has given me a full reset. Just like you would turn off or reset your computer, I feel I have done that with my body and mind. Giving my gut a break: from eating, drinking coffee, supplements and alcohol. Also a break from smoking weed and giving my muscles a break from intense training (still did light workouts 2/5 days) was exactly what my body and mind needed.

It forced me to slow down. Literally, if I didn’t I felt light-headed. Otherwise, I don’t think I would’ve especially from physical training. I came back revitalized. My workouts now feel stronger and I feel re-motivated with my work and life in general. It was exactly what my mind needed.

Not to mention all the other benefits associated to fasting (in previous journal entry) Well worth the 5 days. And I’ll gladly do it all over again, every year for the rest of my life. Remember, longevity is the name of the game. So we can do the things we love, with those that we love, for the rest of our lives. Because if we can’t, what’s the point?

Thanks for reading. Come back, anytime. Grateful for you.

With love,
Steve Ramos

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